WELCOME TO NO NEED(LE) TO WORRY
helping yourself feel better
When your young person is worried or upset, it can make you feel worried and upset too.
Some people might also feel impatient or frustrated when their child is not able to have the treatment they need, because they worry about what might happen to them. In the same way that young people can feel anxious and manage treatment, you can feel worried or frustrated and still help your young person.
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It’s important that you know how to help yourself feel calm and relaxed during their appointments.
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You might also be worried about treatment with needles, and often young people will notice this even when you try very hard to hide it.
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This part suggests some ways you can help yourself feel calmer during their appointments.
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If you would prefer to print this page - CLICK HERE
Helping yourself feel better can be a really useful skill.
The first thing that's important to know is that you are not alone in feeling this way.
It's normal to feel worried about your young person, and to feel frustration, annoyance or anger when their appointments are not going well. It's also normal to feel helpless - we all want to help our young people, and it's not always easy to know the best way to do that.
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There are sections you can read on understanding worry and how to talk to your young person about worries.
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There are lots of ways you can help yourself feel a bit better, or cope with your feelings (even if you still feel a bit frustrated/angry/annoyed/worried). It might also be useful in other situations where you have strong emotions.
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Some techniques are useful to practice beforehand - so you know what to do without having to think too much about it. It can be helpful to talk to your young person about your plan so they know what you are doing.
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You should think about where you will be when you use your chosen option - will you be able to do it properly? You should also consider the effect your coping option will have on your young person - we recommend you speak to your young person and both agree your coping strategies to make sure there isn't a mismatch.
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Here are some ideas that you might like to try:
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Distracting yourself
Some people might find it helpful to distract themselves from their thoughts and feelings.
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You might try:
Looking at something/playing a game on your phone
Reading a book
Using a fidget toy like a popper or spinner
Squeezing a stress ball
Playing a mental game (how many green things can you see? Can you count backwards from 100 in 6s?)
Talking to someone about a different topic
Listening to music
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If you think distracting yourself might help, consider which option will work best for you and your young person. For example, if your young person would prefer for you to speak to them while they have treatment, you won't be able to listen to music at the same time.
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Relaxing yourself
Some people might find it helpful to try relaxation techniques to help them control their feelings. If you would like specific examples of the techniques below, you can click the link to read or print these.
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You might try:
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If you think relaxation techniques might help you, consider what option will work best. For example, you may not be able to be somewhere quiet, or be able to use some of these techniques after you're called in for the appointment.
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Asking questions
Some people like to have lots of information, and their feelings can come from a lack of understanding about what might happen during an appointment.
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There can be a mismatch here - some young people will want to know everything about their treatment and some young people would rather not know very much. It will be very important to understand how much your young person wants to know, to avoid upsetting them. If your young person does not want to know, you should either ask them to wait outside or arrange to speak to their healthcare worker separately.
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Some things you might want to ask:
How long will it take?
What are the steps of the appointment?
What will it feel like?
How can I help prepare at home?
Is there anything you recommend to help them manage during the appointment?
What will the plan be if my young person is finding it difficult?
Is there anything I can do to help during the appointment?
Can I come in with them?
Can I wait outside?
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If you are speaking to the healthcare worker on your own, you might also want to take the opportunity to tell them things about your young person that you might not want to say in front of them.
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If you are also worried about needles, it can feel very difficult to watch and support your young person during their treatment. You can use a coping idea from our suggestions, and you might also want to ask another person to come with you for the appointment to help support you and your young person. You can also use these ideas when you need to have treatment yourself. Depending on your young persons wishes, you might also want to wait outside during their appointment if you really feel you might not be able to cope.
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